The last 4-5 months have been rough for me. No real tragedies, but enough struggles to leave me feeling a bit shaken and unsteady.

I took some time off to rest, process, and spend time with God. As I’ve been processing, I’ve found myself longing for “better days;” but that begged the question, what makes days better or worse?

What are ‘Better Days’?

My life is good. I make a good income at a job that I reasonably enjoy. During the 4-5 hard months, I struggled at work, but I got through it without losing my job. I have enough income to do expensive hobbies I enjoy, such as triathlons, skiing, and travel. I have a solid car, a house that I like, and two pups who keep life joyful.

Yet for some reason I find myself weary and aching for something that feels lacking.

Momentum

While there are several factors I’ve identified as I’ve processed, I want to focus on momentum. It’s been a hard season. Life didn’t go the way I expected these past months, I faced several rejections, I had unexpected surgery for appendicitis, and I had to fight through struggling at work to not lose my job.

While I’m deeply grateful for all that I have, it’s felt like a season of living in the trenches of life. In past seasons, even some fairly recent seasons, I’ve had routines and energy that have carried me forward; I’ve known where I was going and I could see progress moving in that direction.

I had momentum.

Then the momentum was pulled out from under me.

Seasons of Plowing

Scripture frequently uses agrarian analogies for the spiritual life. While we, in our limited perspective, often long for life to always be “up and to the right,” scripture makes it clear that there are seasons. Summer seasons and winter seasons. Seasons of planting and seasons of harvest.

Right now, I feel like I’m in a season of plowing. I’m not even to the point of planting – at least when you’re planting, you know what you’re sowing. If you sow corn, you can expect to harvest corn in a future season. If you sow consistent workouts, you can expect to harvest being able to complete a race in due season.

In this season, I don’t know what my goal is in my life and career. I’m not sure where I want to go, or where God is calling me, so I don’t know what to sow, how to work to get there.

I’m simply plowing the field.

I’m doing the work at hand, with no idea of what the harvest will be, or when. I simply know that God has called me to do what he places in front of me each day. I work to take care of my health. I work to be a good employee. I works to be a good friend.

The season of plowing is one of preparing the ground; churning up the hard soil so that, in due season, it is ready for planting. It is a season of simple obedience to the Lord.

Going Deeper

The seasons of momentum are fun. It’s like in surfing when you successfully catch a wave – yeah, you have to work to stay balanced, but most of the work for the forward momentum is being done by the wave, and you get to ride its energy.

When a community or church is experiencing a season of momentum together, I’ve noticed that while everyone is carried along, some seem to be experiencing it more deeply than others. They seem to hear God more clearly, lead more confidently, and experience what God is doing at a different level.

I believe that those who experience momentum more deeply are those who have done the work of plowing. In seasons of momentum, you’ll benefit from the momentum regardless, but it’s those who have done the work of plowing that will gain the most, that will see the greatest harvest.

Simple Obedience

The work of plowing is that of simple obedience. It’s the choice to obey God, to do the work, to dig deep even when you don’t see the benefit or know where it’s taking you.

There is something in simple obedience that refines us, pruning away our selfishness and the parts of our lives that are limiting the ways we know and experience God.

So while it may not be fun in the moment, my prayer is that in this season, God would dig deep as he plows the hard soil of my heart, and that it will all be for his glory.